in memory​.​.​.

by the grand shell game

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05:13

about

suggested album pricing: $10 donation for the full album, $1 donation per song if you don't have that much to give. all proceeds from this project will go to benefit the Jana Marie Foundation.

we dedicate this to all who have struggled with the burden of mental illness.

the Jana Marie Foundation was created in memory of a beloved friend and family member who was lost too soon to suicide. it is dedicated to shattering the stigma of mental illness, with a focus on helping youth (especially young women) better understand and adapt to their struggles through community, creativity, and artistic expression. in March of 2017 the foundation recognized its five-year anniversary with the launch of the Mokita™ initiative, inspired by the Kilivila (indigenous New Guinea) word loosely translated to mean "a known truth that is left unspoken".

find out more information about the Jana Marie Foundation at: www.janamariefoundation.org

***

the bones of these three songs were laid out some six years ago by a player in the grand shell game, during the tumultuous period surrounding his dear cousin's suicide. the final piece, Jana's song, was written the very day she passed as he sat hundreds of miles away, struggling with his own depression, wondering how he might tell her everything would be all right. the grand shell game considers her co-author on all three works.

this band of the grand shell game is made up of: daniel fields, dylan turner, e-s guthrie, joe macphail, rob "poppa" davis, rob "the voice" dimauro, and you. find more music and community at thegrandshellgame.com.

credits

released May 1, 2017

produced by Jeff "Crawdad" Crawford and the grand shell game. recorded in January of 2017 at the Fidelitorium. engineered and mixed by Jeff Crawford. additional engineering by dylan turner and e-s guthrie. all songs written by the grand shell game with Jana Vicere. Rainer Maria Rilke quote in "life support" was borrowed from "Letters to a Young Poet" and read by rob "the voice" dimauro. mastered by Chris Boerner at The Kitchen. album art by Kevin Michael Guthrie. lyrics by e-s guthrie. all songs © 2017 by the grand shell game. if you want to use our music... ask.

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the grand shell game Carrboro, North Carolina

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Track Name: mental chatter
I don't know the reason why
all I ever did was try
all my fears I overcame
still I failed you just the same

I loved too much, I didn't love enough.
I loved too much, I didn't love enough

everyday is more the same
technicolor shades of gray
dazzle me as I forge on
stark reminders of the color I have lost

I loved too much I didn't love enough
I loved too much I didn't love enough

people talk of their regrets
all the pain that they have left
in my life I'll own my share
take these eyes, these arms, this...

I loved too much I didn't love enough
I knew too much I didn't know enough
I felt too much I didn't feel enough
I loved too much I didn't love enough
I loved too much I didn't love enough
I loved too much I didn't love enough
Track Name: life support
hold on, everything still can be all right. let go, know the pain will wash away with time. we may only get one try, but we always have this life. breath in, trust the sense of your being here. breath out, reconnect with your atmosphere. I know you feel alone, you know I feel alone. don't you feel alive...?

when you're on your own, you're not on your own. you're not on your own.

reach out, recognize we've all been in this space. reach in, allow your heart to beat the pain you face. don't you feel? don't you feel alive? don't you feel? don't you feel alive? don't you feel, don't you feel alive? alive...
Track Name: Jana's song
all this potential for all this regret.
we've come so damn far, we're still just beginning.
we've raised high the roof beam, we've built our walls deep.
but flaws in foundations can crack up our seemingly perfect world. our perfect world. mmm...

we pledge to each other for richer or poor. to help one another when hard times come...

bearing down

...under the surface, we mean what we say. so why do our actions so often betray us our perfect world, our perfect world. mmm...

so what if forever's just how long it lasts? we've not reached the end, we still have a chance...

to remember our blessings, we reap what we sow. we make our mistakes but continue to grow towards a perfect world, our perfect world. a perfect world, our perfect world.

a perfect world... mmmm.